Ghindu

Ok kali ni aku cuba untuk tidak mencarut emo di sini. Am traiying am traiying. Lolz.

Benci FB, penat. Nak pergi kat Twitter, lembab nak mampuih. Youtube pun sama. Apa ni semua tak sayang aku ni, tsk tsk. Meh la layan Jessie J. Jerit-jerit sampai lepas rasa 'bengkek' ni. Ma Gaaaaad, susahnya nak tahan nafsu beremosial ni!!

Ok cop cop. Sempat singgah di twitter tadi. Ternampak 2 old friends sibuk mengajak diri masing masing lepak. UiTM cuti kan. Then, saw my name kat conversation depa tu. Ajak lepak before masuk Unisel. Rasa cam nak join the converse tapi, twitter sangat celaka malam ni. OK CUT ZE CRAPZ. I ACTUALLY MISS MY OLD FRIENDS! Mana korang pergi? Aku rindu kat bonzer bonzer aku. Kak Yong rindu ni hoi :/

I missed yu gais so much weh, can't tell ya. Sometimes, I feel like balik ke zaman sekolah. Even ada je manusia macam celaka perangai, tapi ada juga kurang celakanya. I missed my gang. The ones who treated me like their adik, the ones who never forget about me. The ones yang selalu text 'Yan, mana? Mamak jom!'

'Sape usik kau ni? Bagi abang Dinnie setel.' - Rindu kau weh :') tak tipuu. Bobak, Dinnie, Bani, Naim, Mil. I still have our pictures together masa kat air tejun tu. I gantung those pics dalam bilik. Even aku malas nak lap & biar berhabuk, somehow aku still tengok gambar2 tu.

I wanna lepak with you guys. & cerita macam-macam. Life sux, i need a shoulder :(

Why is this happening to me?

Just so you know. I woke up early in the morning. Doing my house chores as usual. Washed my car, clean this and that. Im super rajin this morning. Tried to laugh, sang all songs that came out from the radio. & what's more important, I cant wait to see my love! :D

But...

Shit happens. I'm speechless now. The thing that I fear the most, I feel like its going to come & haunt me. Just so you know. I planned evrything, to make thing goes well. Im done talking. Its tiring. Thanks for listening. This post ends here.

As a senior

So, hi. Pronounce it without the comma. That shows what I feel now.

So, I just had a conversation with one of my highscool junior. Who had just passed the SPM examination. That junior asked me hows life and everything. "Life has been good" - I replied. And I'm sorry because I lied. Maaf, kau bukan orang yang tepat untuk aku ceritakan masalah aku. Sorry dik.

Bla bla bla. Suddenly dia cakap "I have so many problems." And kid, what do you expect me to say? "Chill the fuck out"? or maybe "You should be enjoying life, hey man you're still young!" - I bet I'll kill myself for saying those things to my junior. Sorry again dik, its not like I dont want to help or listen to your problems. But me myself, I'm having my hard times now. Aku sendiri pun dah taktahan nak tanggung, nak fikir masalah aku. So, aku just boleh ckp, "Thats life. I also have my own problems. You want it or not, you have to face it."

I'm a such a baaaaad senior kan? I mean pendengar yang tak baik? LOL. I'm sorry. But you have your girlfriend who can listen to you, man. So no worries then :) Me? Yeah, I have my... erm friend. Yeah, a friend of mine who's willing to lend me his ears whenever I feel like crapping. A very good friend of mine. Who were there for me through my ups and downs. Thanks Bah :')

I love you, I miss you and I need you. But.. look at how you treated me. Busy here and there. You were'nt there when I need you. Its okay. I understand. You need to study bcause you're having finals now. Ni baru 10 minit "Eh I nak pergi amik angin, bye" then datang balik. 15 minit lepas tu "Nak study jap, pastu nak pergi lepak." And when I replied "Okay :)" with the stupid fucking fake smile, can't you notice? At least one damn thing? Can't you notice that I'm not okay with it?


I guess you're not. Fine then, up to you.

kalau taknak, bagitahu

Let say, kalau suatu hari nanti aku senyap. Kalau aku tak muncul-muncul, jangan cari. Aku fed up. Kalau dah tak suka, bagitahu. Kalau tak lari pun, aku cuba jauhkan diri. Baru kalian senang, bukan?

Aku kat sini, sayang kau. Cinta kau. Kisah pasal kau. Jadi, tolong.. Hargai. Tunaikan segala yang kita janjikan. Entah kenapa, hati kadang-kadang rasa tak sedap. Kadang-kadang rasa sedap. Kalau tak sedap, aku cuba tepis. Sebab aku sayang kau. Tolong ya?